Top 10 Potential Fathers For My Indie Baby
I have to begin this post with a disclaimer. Most of these men, although handsome, could perhaps be considered a little bit old for me. Half of what swayed me to include these men in my list was their overabundance of musical talent. I want a little baby muso, damn it. And I will have one.
To be honest, this list functions at best as a list of my indie/garage crushes. Some may not make the perfect father. Some may be too old. Some may in fact be taken. But this is my dream list. And girls are allowed to have dreams. Let me know about any handsome youthful catches in the comments, so I can woo them into my corner at their next show.
Oh and they are in no particular order because ooh I just couldn’t decide. Ranking these fellas just seemed kind of cruel. I think you will however find that I have a big brown-eyed type. Oh and in regards to the above picture, I’ll really just be glad if by kids don’t end up like a Tenenbaum.
Robert Levon Been from Black Rebel Motorcycle Club
Been is from one of our favourite bands. And really great to perve at when he’s playing a live show. Electric guitars are pretty much a huge turn-on. Breaking the ice nice and early. Let’s get to the sexual dynamic before we all start to feel a wee bit awkward.
Jason Schwartzman from Coconut Records
And from every Wes Anderson movie ever (with some exceptions). And that great show Bored to Death. He’s pretty much my perfect man. He’s got wit and he’s got an adorably large nose and demeanour and have you seen his movies because they’re all great. Seriously. Although I may just be projecting all my understanding of his characters on him. But seriously he made an indie band and he’s just the best, okay?
Kevin Parker from Tame Impala
The lifeblood of our favourite psychedelic act straight out of Perth. He looks like he could inject a small child with a whole load of creativity, and he might even be able to teach me how to work with distortion pedals. And can you imagine going to a festival with this guy and his band? It’d be amazing.
Conor Oberst from Bright Eyes
He understands my angst! We could write pretty folk songs together and we could sing and share with the world our fractured voices. And we’d probably be in love forever. I just got lost in a photograph of his eyes.
He’s a cutie. I’d feel bad stealing him Best Coast‘s Beth Cosentino but hey, I saw him eying me at their Sydney show. Surf punk is super romantic. When he inevitably gets sick of my shit, he will dump me and write a song about it. I’m okay with that.
Angus Stone from Angus and Julia Stone
Needed token bearded Australian. Couldn’t resist this cop out. Why is it a cop out? Because it’s the obvious choice. And I don’t care at all because he’s soft-spoken and he has a beard I can nuzzle into. Get in me.
Lockett Pundt from Deerhunter, Lotus Plaza
It’s mainly because he’s really cool and really cute. That’s it. That’s all there is.
Julian Casablancas from The Strokes
Big brown eyes plus that ‘Boombox’ song equals one handsome fella. He even looks nice with blue streaks. Take it from me, that’s a definite plus in the father material stakes. I feel like this article has become less about how gorgeous all the men in the indie world are and too much about potential dads. Going to take a break from the latter now.
Paul Dempsey from Something For Kate
We’re getting into the old dudes part of the list I’m sure you were all waiting for. I cut out a lot of them, so y’know, special mentions to Thurston Moore and Tim Rogers. But my Paul? He is the youngest of the old dudes. He also has the kind of cheekbones that no teenager could resist. Also I just want to say I’m sorry I chose Dempsey over Tim Freedman, but lingering attachment beats that guy who kinda looks like the boy I see in real life.
Nick Cave from Grinderman, The Birthday Party, Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
Nick Cave is my fantasy man because he is a musician and a writer. Like seriously. He writes everything. He writes books and screenplays and his albums are great and everything about him is wonderful and you just should’ve seen the way he looked at me at Big Day Out ’11. He was singing to me. And you know, boyfriend gave me a free pass. So…
I just realised I used the phrase ‘get in me’ in an article. I hearby apologise to anyone I may have offended with that comment. I also apologise to all your erotic fiction lovers, because I cut out all my free verse smut. Sorry!
Words by Hannah Story
Are cute girls more your thing? Check out our recent TOP TEN POTENTIAL MOTHERS FOR MY INDIE BABY article.